FOUR YEAR PLAN SPECIAL

We the People of This Country are Disgusted,

Occasionally there comes a time when the combined and undirected rage of the People comes together into a focused beam of anger and tonight the target is the four year plan ah here now lads this is the final nail in the coffin of Fianna Fail as if it wasn't enough that that chancer Bertie took us to the brink of the cliff and Cowen pushed us off now he's kicking our lifeless corpse and the stuff that's in this plan would make you vomit up your macaroon bars they're talking about cutting a euro off the minimum wage well that may not sound like a lot to you Mr.Cowen with your fourteen pensions and your ministerial cars but a euro an hour is a big deal when you're living on the breadline and they're now TAXING these people again so they have you coming and going and there's a lot of talk about the minimum wage how about a MAXIMUM WAGE BRIAN how about you take some of this pain you were talking about but you never will you bloody corrupt awful thing you're taxing people to oblivion you're cutting people's pay you're slashing services you're DESTROYING THIS COUNTRY and we the People will vote you and your rotten party out of existence if we have any backbone at all you need to get out get out get out NOW not March not January NOW.

'Ireland's Sovereignty is Dead and Gone, It's With Ahern in the Cupboard.'

Dear Friends,

I know that I previously stated that I would 'stay out of the way' and let the wise words of Peter and J. wash over you but there comes a time when one can no longer 'stay silent'.

As I write this, 'high-ups' in the EU and the IMF sit in Leinster House, pulling the reins of government, as Brian Cowen and the rest of his Fianna Fáil cronies bow down to outside influence, and sacrifice the hard won sovereignty that we have held for the last 'hocht blian'. What follows now is a situation too dark to contemplate.

And yet contemplate it we must, for we are about to live this nightmare. What awful measures will be exercised by the faceless Eurocrats who now hold sway over this beautiful republic? Will our gloriously low corporation tax, 'an cáin chorporáide', enshrined in De Valera's constitution all those years ago, be forced to cruelly high European standards? Will they cut public sector pay, crudely and inexpertly? Most importantly, what of the Irish Language?

Our proud and noble gaeilge has long been a thorn in the side of the EU. They fear and mistrust this lilting tongue, trapped as they are in their guttural dialects. I, as a guardian and protector of our native Irish, will lay down my life, my very life, in it's defence. The 'Cead Míle Failte's' wil ring out over this land until the end of time.

But really the EU are merely bit players in this weeks farce. We cannot blame those outsiders for a problem which originated within these shores. I bear no real ill will towards the European Union, not in the face of the terrible monsters that lie much closer to home.

Certain trinities, triumvirates if you will, spring to mind. Insidious tripods holding up the demons of corruption, gombeenism and despair. Not least The Bankers, The Developers and Fianna Fáil. Not Forgetting Fianna Fáil, The PDs and The Greens. But none worse than Bertie Ahern, Charlie McCreevy and Brian Cowen.

McCreevy, the man who defied the advice of the sensible men of Europe, cutting taxes and deregulating until the banks were as free as a bird to gamble with the money of the People in their insidious little casino on Merrion Street. He deserves more scorn than he gets, that much is certain.

Cowen, who even at this late stage, as he goes down as the worst Taoiseach in history, the man who sold Ireland, will not apologise. He retains the arrogance that was his hallmark during his reign as Finance Minister. Enough words have been spent in the national media about this pathetic, shambling, half-drunk dunce of a man.

But we must focus our attentions on the true culprit. One Bartholomew 'Bertie' Ahern. Leaving aside for the minute his gross corruption, his 'lack' of a bank account, his ludicrous stories of winning money on horses, let us place the weight of the blame upon his shoulders. This man 'led' the country for eleven long years. Under his tenure we went from a well regulated, sensible economy, on the up from a flood of American investment, to a bloated, under-taxed false boom country, about to fall off the precipice that he led us to the very brink of. Nothing speaks louder than his comments near the end of his tenure, his response to those who dared to question his insane policies:

It is not fair to tar all politicians with this same brush. Some in the opposition, though far from perfect, are at least honest, decent people. Deputy Rabbitte's thundering denouncement of the government this week warmed my heart to no end.

So on this saddest of days, in the blackest of weeks, in the worst of years I give you my endorsement for the General Election which is sure to come. It is simply this: Anyone But Fianna Fáil. I care not if you vote for the Irish equivalent of the Nation of Islam, as long as you don't ever give this fetid, corruption-marinated, idiotic, borderline insane crowd of smug self-satisfied arseholes another chance, in my life or yours.

Yours, with great sorrow,

Thómáis Ó Donnághchínnéitígdh.

EU BAILOUT BAILOUT BAILOUT LARGE HADRON COLLIDER

We the People of This Country are Disgusted,

Well now it looks like the end of the line for Ireland the EU are coming in to bail us out and sure everyones complaining but it has to be done and at least it's not just the IMF and the EU are our friends and they might show a bit of restraint when it comes to cutting spending and sure aren't Fianna Fail cutting spending enough already and there's no other option we have to take the money and it'll be bad for a few years but at least we'll know what we're doing and sure wasn't it a bit of a bright spark when Munster beat those Aussies better than the Irish Rugby team struggling against Samoa well the All Blacks are coming and you won't be happy when they destroy you and in all this talk of Bailouts and recession and X Factor we've forgotten that this Large Hadron Collider has created the Big Bang 2 or whatever and they say it's the biggest science experiment ever and it's wonderful and will lead to a heap of new advances but you wouldn't know that to read the news they're too fixated on the bailouts and the NAMA and the EU and the IMF and FIANNA FAIL.