Showing posts with label RTE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label RTE. Show all posts

Thursday, January 20, 2011

2010: Antiheroes, Mixed-Bags and Non-Entities of the Year

This 2010 retrospective is taking place in late January, as befits this crowd of misfits who not only failed to define the year, but left us all scratching our heads in idiotic confusion like the shaved gorillas that we are.

Antiheroes

Gerry Ryan

Ah, Ger Ger. Mr. Ryan, a beloved-by-some-hated-by-others radio shock jock, passed away this summer. However he will regret not living long enough to attend his funeral as the nation began wailing and rending its collective clothes as though this were a repeat of that whole 9/11 business, or someone had just said 'Princess Diana' in a sad way. The mourning and venerating of the man went so far over the top it may have been possible to see China. From all corners of the nation people were calling old Gerry a genius, a poet, a prophet and possibly a candidate for fast-track sainthood. Yes, it seemed Gerry could fly no higher than when he was six feet under.

Inevitably, it all fell to pieces. Towards the end of the year, just at the point when most of us had accepted Ryan Tubridy's voice as a reasonable substitute, some news arrived that would shock us all.

But not really though. Everyone knew that Ryan was a heavy cocaine user. To call it an open secret would be understating it massively. Yet everyone from the top of RTÉ to the loneliest listener claimed that they had no foreknowledge, that they were shocked, and yes, appalled at his conduct. The denouncement began in earnest. Gerry was a cautionary tale, a fatter Katie French, a man who some whispered 'got what he deserved'.

Of course all this was ludicrous hyperbole. Ryan was merely a human being. He was flawed and something of an idiot for his continued drug use, but neither a monster nor a saint. He was not worthy of venerating, not worthy of condemnation and certainly not worthy of the countless column inches spent pouring repulsively over ever gory detail of his life.

Mixed Bags and Non-Entities coming soon.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

SNOW MORE MARY BYRNE

More effing snow sure didn't we all think that it was terrific that we were getting a bit of snow and RTE running their 10-minute snow photo slide show to give us a bit of a break from the gloom or the Gloomtimes as some are calling it aren't we more like themselves in Iceland every day first the banks then the snow what's next for this little isle well this afternoon we'll have the Budget 2011 no better day to have it than on the anniversary of the Pearl Harbour cause that's what it is a bunch of foreigners flying in and ruining our lives but you can't really blame them it was Bertie and the lads who invited them it was only a matter of time and now we have to fix this Country but what doesn't need fixing is that X-Factor cause it's already fixed sure they said they weren't even going to have a sing-off but then Mary Byrne got more votes than they expected and they had to rig the whole thing to get that filthy little shit Cher through but sure it's no surprise the English have been underestimating us from day one well you can kick Mary out of your little competition but she's not going back to work in your Tesco empire if there is one job left in this country that woman should get it and if I had my way it would be the office of An Taoiseach.