Election Day.

Get out there and vote, everyone. Here's a little election day special, an 'interview' with local mentalist and Christian Solidarity Party candidate for Dublin South, Jane Murphy. We touch on the banking system, 9/11, global warming and much more!

BRIAN LENIHAN DICTATOR BERLUSCONI SLEAZE

We the People of this Country are Disgusted,

There was a Labour fella on the radio tonight and he said that after they passed the banking bill that Brian Lenihan is now dictator of Ireland and surely thats going a bit far I mean he is a total arsehole and he fecked up the Country with his Fianna Fail cronies and they should be turfed out of office but it's a bit much to start comparing him to Stalin or Hitler or one of those fellas in the Congo I mean he's not even wearing any special hat or anything and this is just like after the budget when the red tops had a picture of him in a Nazi uniform and thats going a bit far and sure at least he isn't a sleazy fecker like your man Berlusconi and he's nothing like our Ber thats Ber Cowen who was a fine man and sure wouldn't he be disgusted at his son clinging to power just like Berlusconi and they say he should have been out but he handed a load of them brown envelopes out and now he's still in and they were rioting on the streets of Rome and it's more than we're doing sure we should be rioting after what was done to this Country by the Bankers and the Developers and FIANNA FAIL.

A Poem, for these dark times.

Good afternoon dear friends. I have returned to you. I wish to share with you a poem, an excerpt from my latest poetry collection: 'Tis Pity She's a Fianna Fail Voter', which will be available from TOD Publishing in time for Christmas. You may not agree with my 'meter' but surely you will agree with the sentiment. I hope you enjoy.

'The Big Freeze.'

The sneactha is falling,

It covers the land.

Our loss of sovereignty galling,

But we need the helping hand.

No man of any party,

Of any creed or race,

Can save us from the bailouts,

Can help us save face.

For the Bankers and the developers,

The Brians one and and all,

Have destroyed this fair Island,

A fate none can stall.

If Ber Cowen were alive today

If his ghost could rise once more,

I know not what he would say,

to see the youth gone by the score.

But his son is the one who doomed us,

This we must not forget,

Some say to throw him under a bus,

Some shake their heads in regret.

The Big Freeze sets in,

There is no end in sight,

There is no way to win,

And this year was frankly shite.

'Ireland's Sovereignty is Dead and Gone, It's With Ahern in the Cupboard.'

Dear Friends,

I know that I previously stated that I would 'stay out of the way' and let the wise words of Peter and J. wash over you but there comes a time when one can no longer 'stay silent'.

As I write this, 'high-ups' in the EU and the IMF sit in Leinster House, pulling the reins of government, as Brian Cowen and the rest of his Fianna Fáil cronies bow down to outside influence, and sacrifice the hard won sovereignty that we have held for the last 'hocht blian'. What follows now is a situation too dark to contemplate.

And yet contemplate it we must, for we are about to live this nightmare. What awful measures will be exercised by the faceless Eurocrats who now hold sway over this beautiful republic? Will our gloriously low corporation tax, 'an cáin chorporáide', enshrined in De Valera's constitution all those years ago, be forced to cruelly high European standards? Will they cut public sector pay, crudely and inexpertly? Most importantly, what of the Irish Language?

Our proud and noble gaeilge has long been a thorn in the side of the EU. They fear and mistrust this lilting tongue, trapped as they are in their guttural dialects. I, as a guardian and protector of our native Irish, will lay down my life, my very life, in it's defence. The 'Cead Míle Failte's' wil ring out over this land until the end of time.

But really the EU are merely bit players in this weeks farce. We cannot blame those outsiders for a problem which originated within these shores. I bear no real ill will towards the European Union, not in the face of the terrible monsters that lie much closer to home.

Certain trinities, triumvirates if you will, spring to mind. Insidious tripods holding up the demons of corruption, gombeenism and despair. Not least The Bankers, The Developers and Fianna Fáil. Not Forgetting Fianna Fáil, The PDs and The Greens. But none worse than Bertie Ahern, Charlie McCreevy and Brian Cowen.

McCreevy, the man who defied the advice of the sensible men of Europe, cutting taxes and deregulating until the banks were as free as a bird to gamble with the money of the People in their insidious little casino on Merrion Street. He deserves more scorn than he gets, that much is certain.

Cowen, who even at this late stage, as he goes down as the worst Taoiseach in history, the man who sold Ireland, will not apologise. He retains the arrogance that was his hallmark during his reign as Finance Minister. Enough words have been spent in the national media about this pathetic, shambling, half-drunk dunce of a man.

But we must focus our attentions on the true culprit. One Bartholomew 'Bertie' Ahern. Leaving aside for the minute his gross corruption, his 'lack' of a bank account, his ludicrous stories of winning money on horses, let us place the weight of the blame upon his shoulders. This man 'led' the country for eleven long years. Under his tenure we went from a well regulated, sensible economy, on the up from a flood of American investment, to a bloated, under-taxed false boom country, about to fall off the precipice that he led us to the very brink of. Nothing speaks louder than his comments near the end of his tenure, his response to those who dared to question his insane policies:

It is not fair to tar all politicians with this same brush. Some in the opposition, though far from perfect, are at least honest, decent people. Deputy Rabbitte's thundering denouncement of the government this week warmed my heart to no end.

So on this saddest of days, in the blackest of weeks, in the worst of years I give you my endorsement for the General Election which is sure to come. It is simply this: Anyone But Fianna Fáil. I care not if you vote for the Irish equivalent of the Nation of Islam, as long as you don't ever give this fetid, corruption-marinated, idiotic, borderline insane crowd of smug self-satisfied arseholes another chance, in my life or yours.

Yours, with great sorrow,

Thómáis Ó Donnághchínnéitígdh.

5 BILLION EURO KANGAROO DEAD

We the People of this Country are disgusted,

Ah here now this is way more than we thought it would be they're talking about 5 billion euros now that we have to cut out of the budget and I tell you something you won't find it in the pockets of the People of this Country they've paid enough how about looking for it from Seany and Fingers and David Drumm and the rest of the chancers who got us into this mess and you can't cut anymore out of the health service sure isn't it stretched so thin already and they'll just hit the poorest as usual the pensions and the child benefit and the dole and sure they won't hit the minister's pension or the money we dole out to them bunch of crooks and speaking of crooks we see now they brought a kangaroo into a nightclub and isn't the poor thing dead now and theres no excuse for that you cruel bastards you gave him drink and you can't be at that and these people should be locked up as well as the bankers and the developers and the whole of FIANNA FAIL.

NAMA BAILOUT NATIONAL GOVERNMENT CHILEAN MINERS MILLENNIUM CANDLES

We the People of This Country are Disgusted,

It was only a few days ago that all this bollocks we were getting from the Greens about an all party conference looked about as likely as Cowen giving up the drink but now its all we hear and sure isn't it the greatest bollocks we don't need a national government we need a general election sure I'm no fan of that Enda but he should be given a fair shot at it and we don't want everyone there just sitting down and agreeing and sure isn't it just another way of the Fianna Fail cronies to hang onto power as long as they can and then retire on their seven pensions as they're laughing at us and wasn't it fantastic to see all that about the miners and they're out and sure that's a government that knows it's priorities bailing out the miners instead of the banks and you wouldn't get that sort of thing here all you'd get is bailouts and NAMA and the Lisbon Treaty and fucking Millennium Candles sent around to every house.

NAMA BAILOUT MORTAR ATTACK

We the People of This Country are Disgusted,

And now look here someones crashed a cement mixer into the gates of the dail and sure theres no point in wrecking the dail sure isnt it in this country and they've already destroyed this country and sure they put 'Anglo Toxic Bank' on the side and that doesn't even make sense at all anglo didn't bring down the government because they're spineless and they dont have an honest bone between them and sure you could have hurt someone and they're calling it Cementgate which is fair enough and its more realistic to think you could destroy the government with a cement mixer than the governments plans to get 300,000 extra jobs from overseas they're not like dodgy ciggarettes Brian you cant just sneak jobs through immigration.

COWEN DRUNK NAMA BAILOUT GAY MARRIAGE

We the People of This Country are Disgusted,

Ah we've hit a new low now isn't the leader of the country Brian Cowen turning up locked on the radio or hungover or whatever well he sounded rough in any case and they say he had had 8 pints and thats all very well and good if you're working in a office and you just have to hold out until lunchtime when you can have a bit of a kip in the breakroom but when you're leader of the country things are a bit different and you cant be at that when the bailouts are raging as they clearly are you're not at the races you're not playing the game and that Coveney fella was right to call him out as being off his hat while trying to convince us of why we should put more billions into Anglo and Seany's pockets and sure didn't we have a survey saying that the People support gay marriage and sure of course we do and sure we don't care if you're gay straight or otherwise as long as you don't vote Fianna Fail and you're not a banker or a developer and sure it wasn't the gays who ruined this country no matter what the IONA institute would have you believe bunch of moralizing chancers to a man.

9/11 NAMA BAILOUT KORAN BURNING WILLIE O DEA

We the People of Ireland are disgusted,

We're here, on the anniversary of one of the worst terrorist attacks ever, and there were 4000 people killed and it was awful and its a day of remembrance and not the hate that the people that are there burning the Koran are doing and theres nothing worse than just adding more hate to the hate that was directed at you and you'll achieve nothing and you'll just be a bigot and its a terrible idea much like the bailouts that they're now saying are the worst in the world bar none even in america they haven't had to bailout as much or spend as much and isn't that bastard Willie O Dea saying that he'll run again in the next election even after that thing with the gun and the affidavit that he changed well you cant change an affidavit Willie, and aren't you a lawyer you should know that but sure they're all lawyers and that hasn't stopped them being the most ineffective corrupt and desperate bunch of chancers ever to squat in Leinster house and I've said it before and I'll say it again Ireland is the most corrupt country in the world and the only one who isn't is Brian Lenihan and Mary McAleese wasn't she great the other day meeting Medvedev in Russia and she really gives a great impression of the country as a whole and it'll be a shame to lose her next year but sure we'll have another president and hopefully they wont support the bailout ridden politics of today.

NAMA BAILOUT FIANNA FAIL WAYNE COLEEN ROY KEANE

We the People of This Country are disgusted,

As if it wasn't bad enough to be losing millions a day on a failed bank that were now separating into a bad bank and an even worse bank we're now told that we cant borrow money because all the other countries know that our government and the bankers are a load of chancers who cant be trusted with the money that they need to bail themselves out of the situation that they created and meanwhile Wayne Rooney and the the wife are having a fight because he slept with a load of prostitutes and hes asking her to take him back and were ignoring the tragic death this week of Triggs, the beloved dog of Roy Keane, and the only one who stayed faithful when he was vilified by the press and the media who are now telling us that the country is even worse that Iceland and each person in Iceland owes a hundred thousand euro and if you multiply that by the number of people in Ireland we owe at least a couple of trillion euros and they're telling us that we're in recovery well I don't see too many jobs being created and the Anglo doesn't look like its ending any time soon and sure how can we have a recovery when the criminals are still in the Dail running things with their crony-ism and their expenses and Ivor Callely is suing the Seanad because a few of them had the guts to call him what he is which is a chancer and a liar and a thief and the bastard is now fighting it when he should be in Mountjoy which is awful overcrowded and theres six people in a one person room and the drugs are everywhere and they're all talking on their mobiles and ringing joe and organizing their criminal Costa empires.